Yusei, Kuma, and the Snakeysaurat
by KingCrabShipping
Summary: Pure crack, again. Written for my friend Ally. Yusei wakes up in a cave...how will he get out?  Should I continue? Tell me! XD


This is just pure crack...enjoy. :D

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><p>Yusei woke up and stood up from his motorcycle-themed bed, and noticed that he wasn't in his house. He looked around and saw that he was inside a cave passageway with a few lanterns in it. He looked at where he had been sleeping and gasp! His bed was covered with slimy green and purple swirly stuff! He looked at his pyjamas and saw that thy were covered with it too! What was he supposed to do? He had no idea. But, being a boyscout for 5 years and counting, he knew to just trust his instinct, which told him to go through the passageway to find help.<p>

So as Yusei was strolling through the passage, he saw that it was slowly getting wider and lighter. Could this be a way out? He ran foreword for a minute, and realised that he should probably keep his energy for whatever was going to happen later, since he though he might have to try to survive in this cave. So he walked.  
>He came across a big riverstream and stopped. What should he do? He scanned the area around him for an idea.  
>Nothing.<br>He sighed, and was about to give up and go back, when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He snapped his head to the right, and there stood the biggest creature he'd ever seen; some kind of a mix between a snake, monkey, dinosaur, and a cat. Yusei stood, frozen in place, gawking at the creature.  
>"I AM THE SNAKEYSAURAT," the creature bellowed. "I HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR HAIR GEL!"<br>Yusei almost laughed at that. "My hair gel? Why would you ever want something like that? Don't you like, want my soul instead or something?"  
>The Snakeysaurat paused. "WELL THEN I WANT YOUR SOUL TOOOOOO!" The snakeysaurat stepped foreword. "IF YOU CAN BEAT ME IN A DUEL THEN I SHALL LET YOU GO ACROSS THE RIVER WITH NO HARM!"<br>Yusei had no other choice. So he accepted. The Snakeysaurat tossed a sword by Yusei's feet.  
>"HERE, SO YOU HAVE MORE THAN A ZERO PERCENT CHANCE AT BEATING ME, TAKE THIS SWORD. BUT IM NOT TELLING YOU MY WEEK POINT, SO YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND IT YOURSELF!"<br>Yusei picked up the sword and weighed it in his hands. It was a pretty good weight. Hed used better ones, but this one will just have to do.  
>Yusei got into a fighting stance and got ready to start. Suddenly, the Snakeysaurat lurched foreward, causing Yusei to fall backwards. The Snakeysaurat laughed maniacally and jumped right in front of Yusei.<br>"WELL, WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I MIGHT BE THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH!" He bent down even closer to Yusei, and Yusei shuddered at how much cold the creature was radiating. "NOW...GIVE ME YOUR HAIR GEL!" Yusei curled into a ball, shielding his head.  
>"Never!" He shouted back." I'll never give up my gel! It's what makes my hair MY hair! It gives me individuality! It makes me who I am! It shows that I am Yusei, and no one else! It makes me say, I am Yusei! Hear me roar! *angry ROAR*"<br>"I cant believe I'm missin jersey shore for this..." The Snakeysaurat mumbled.  
>"...Did u just say jersey shore...?"<br>"...NO. NOW, IS YOUR LITTLE INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH OVER YET?"  
>"I guess-"<br>"GOOD, NOW I CAN TAKE WHAT I NEED AND FEED YOU TO MY DOG!" The creature bent down to Yusei and opened his mouth, going to eat him.  
>Yusei felt scared. Was this the end? Was he going to die? Was he ever going to see his friends again? Who would feed his pet porcupine now?<br>Just as the snakeysaurat was about to chomp on Yusei, he remembered something; his hair! Luckily the gel he'd put in yesterday was still there, and his hair was spiky, making it the perfect weapon. He bent his head at just the right angle, and success!  
>The snakeysaurat howled<br>and jumped back, angry that Yusei had stabbed the roof of his mouth with his hair. This bought Yusei some time, so he jumped up to his feet and ran.  
>He didn't know where he was running, or how long he'd been running, but he suddenly felt extremely tired. He slowed down and leaned against the wall, catching his breath.<br>He scanned the area around him. The river was really narrow now, so he might be able to get across without much hassle. He walked up to the edge, and looked into it. It was so murky, he couldn't even see his reflection! He checked to see if there was a smaller part that would be easier, but there wasn't. Yusei hesitated. Should he go and try to wade through it? It might be to deep though. But maybe not? But who knows what could be in there? There might be piranhas or some other weird mixture of fish...  
>Biting his lip, he continued staring into the deep depths of the river. Suddenly, he heard a growl. It didn't sound far away, so Yusei guessed it was probably the snakeysaurat coming for revenge. He was about to step into the water, when he heard something else. A soft whine. Surprised at the quietness of it, yusei turned around, searching for whatever made the noise. He spotted a White blob not to<br>far away. Walking over to it, he could now tell it was a...polar bear? What was a polar bear doing here in a cave? "Um, hello..." Yusei said to the bear.  
>The animal looked up sadly at Yusei and sniffled. "I'm lost..." it said. "My master and I were<br>trying to find our way out, and somehow we got separated after we were attacked by a weird animal..." The bear looked down. "I just wanna get out of here..." he said.  
>Yusei felt sympathetic for the animal; he knew what it was like to separated with someone you care about.<br>"I'm sorry," he said to the animal. "Is there any way I can help?" he asked.  
>"Well," said the bear, "I guess you could help me find my master?"<br>Yusei thought this was a great idea. "Alright, I will. Let's go," He picked up the bear and put him on his back in a piggy back position. "So, what's your name?" he asked.  
>"Kumajirou, what's<br>yours?"  
>"I'm Yusei." The bear nodded as if accepting him.<br>"So," Yusei asked, "Do you know how to get across this river?"  
>"Well I am a polar bear, and polar bears swim, so yes. If you put me down by the river, you cab climb on my back and I'll swim us both across."<br>Yusei set Kumajirou down. "Sounds like a plan." he said. Kumajirou got into the water, and Yusei hopped on his back. They floated there for a minute before Yusei asked "Is there a problem...?"  
>"Umm..." Kuma said. "Well, you're kind of too heavy for me to swim...so you'll have to paddle us across..."<br>Yusei stared at the bear for a few seconds before Kuma's words registered. "...What. Are you calling me fat? Well EXCUSE ME for liking food! Not all of us can be models! And no way am I paddling! I'll get my hands wet! And this water is SO not good for my fingernails!"  
>Kuma sighed."Well then get off, I'll find my own way out and leave you here to die. All alone."<br>Yusei stopped ranting at that. Alone? No, he couldn't stand being alone any longer. Not after... "Fine. I'll paddle. But one more remark and I'll make you my new carpet."  
>Yusei reluctantly stuck his hands in the water and moved them backward in a paddling motion. "It's cold. And it feels...slimy?" Yusei ranted in his head again. If this messes up his smooth hands, there's gonna be a certain polar bear who's gonna buy him a years supply his special moisturiser for a year...<br>As they slowly made their way through the murky waters, Yusei began to hum a little tune. After a little bit, he began to sing too.  
>"What are you singing?" Kuma asked.<br>Yusei stopped singing and felt embarrassed. "Um..." he paused. "...Miley Cyrus..."  
>"Who's that?"<br>"Well, she's a teen pop star..."  
>"What song then?"<br>"...Party in the USA."  
>"Oh, I thought I recognised it, I remember some of it now. We should sing a duet!" Kuma suggested. Yusei smiled a little, glad that Kuma didnt think he was a weirdo for liking Miley Cyrus.<br>"Okay," he said happily.  
>As they sang, Yusei continued to paddle with his hands. Before they knew it, they were at the other side.<p>

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><p>Once again, a beautiful crack story written by me, for my friend. She has no idea that Yusei is actually a character, and that I put this up on here...XD<p>

So...should I continue? XD

...Anyone know what anime the polar bear is from? :D Cookies if you know :3

I think that diva!Yusei is pretty funny, any out there agree? XD

~OWR


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